Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Lost People


"We try to grab pieces of our lives as they speed past us. Photographs freeze those pieces and help us remember how we were. We don't know these lost people but if you look around, you'll find someone just like them." - Gene McSweeney

some of you guys may recognize the above quote as the one that's always on the right hand side of my blog, right next to my photo. When i made this blog, i was searching for a quote that resonated with me to put in that spot, which is marked "about me." I didn't know exactly why i thought this quote represented some facet of my personality, but i chose it originally because it had to do with photography, grabbing snippets from all around, and then reflecting on them a little bit. I liked the message it gave about photography.

this entry is about reflecting on how i've changed. Pulling over if you will. I'm hitchhiking and picking myself up at the same time.

At the beginning of last year, I was as low as i had ever been. The second big friendship trauma of my life had taken place, and I felt very alone. I had little to no self-esteem left, and I wasn't sure who to depend on. thankfully, some very good friends picked me up, put me in the oven (of love), took me out when i was good and baked, and let me cool for a while until i hardened back up with a soft interior. I was a cookie. but a good cookie. I would prefer that to roadkill personally.

after i got my feet back on the ground, it was time to ship off to chicago, where, while it was difficult at the beginning, i now remember with much fondness. I started to gain my confidence back, I became super comfortable with public transportation, and I started dancing again. I also got my second and third real photo jobs, which is always really exciting. working for Gary was also a dream.

then i came back, and it was time to go to france.

I've written a lot about finding my location, not loosing control, looking at the same things from a different angle, and nerves.

i feel a little bit reborn.

being a cookie was good, but at the same time, i needed a fresh start. as much as i hated it in the beginning, i needed to stick myself into an unfamiliar place, and figure it out again. Baby steps was good, learning to talk was good, but what i needed was to remember who i was, to recreate myself. to let myself learn the same things again with the knowledge that it's possible to fall apart. but what i gained was the knowledge that i can rebuild myself again. even if it makes me miserable, i can deal, i can get through, i can succeed, and i can even make friends. i can make friends that i think will last. and i can be confident in that. and confidence is something i've been missing for a little while.

I also learned a language. In fact, i learned two. I learned how to speak french, and I learned to speak myself. what do i need right now to get over this. what do i need to realize, what do i need to think about.

sure that may sound a little selfish to only be thinking about myself. but when you're re-learning almost everything you've ever learned about yourself, learning how to listen to that and follow through is a good thing to know how to do.

so i remember how i was before my friendship traumas. and i remember how i was in every transitional phase since then. but i think i'm officially done being in transitional phases. i'm still going to change obviously, but i think i've healed the old wounds. i can wake up in the morning, do every sort of boring and non-boring activity it takes to be a student, develop a routine, do it, and have that be enough. i can do that.

about continuing this journal...i have NO idea. i'm honestly not that big of a writer. i think that maybe when dane and i were young she used so many words that i learned how to express them in other ways, dance and art (and screaming, occassionally). so i'm not sure if i'll ever feel compelled to write in this again. but if i am, if i've got something to put out there, i most certainly will. so feel free to check back every now and again.

this is liora, signing off.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

PAINTINGS I MADE THIS SEMESTER

here is an image of alll the paintings i did this semester minus a few.

click on the image to see "alll" of them. the blog cuts a few out.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Film Speed, or ISO


When taking pictures, digital or film, one has to think about ISO (aka: ASA or Film Speed). The ISO refers to how sensitive the film (or pretend film) is to light. And since photography is all about capturing light, logic says that the more sensitive your film is (aka: the higher your ISO), the more light is captured in your photographs.

example:
for shooting in bright sunny outdoor light, one would use an ISO of about 100-200, not very sensitive. there's already a lot of light!
however, if you want to shoot, for example, a skyline at night, or a portrait with not a lot of light, one might use an ISO of anywhere from 500-3200. depending on quality of the camera and amount of light.
if you decide to shoot at ISO 700 on a bright summer day,typically, you're not going to get anything at all because your film is too sensitive. it just will bleach out. unless you're magical.

some days in aix i feel like my ISO is just changing all over the place. In some classes i'm well exposed some might say, balanced, well composed. In others, I'm just not there at all. Due to constant criticism with the notes "there are still a lot of errors" on all of my papers (regardless of how much i've improved the paper and how little errors actually remain, the critique is constant) in Expression Oral et Ecrit, I have simply ceased to care. I'm gonna study hard for the final, but why even bother trying to edit a photograph that simply isn't well exposed to begin with? that's what i feel like sometimes. Whereas, another situation, art class. I'm not the best, but the critique isn't "your eyes are always too big." it's, maybe try this way. how about another go?

While I'm ready to come home in a BIG way, i'm also really nervous. I'm heading back into an environment that i know is realllly stressfull (and with good reason...if you're gonna stress, this is stuff to stress about) after coming out of a situation that's really stressful, and then heading back to school in the US (which can be also seen as stressful). I'm not sure that i'm equiped to make all of these changes and keep my sanity. One of the girls here tells me that i may just need to take some "me" time. While that may be true, i'm not sure what it'll do. I'm not sure what's going on at home...all i know is that things are crazy. very very crazy. again, with good reason. what is going to be expected of me? pack up everything i know...but also be a responsible family member, girlfriend, friend, earn money (since i'll definately need it to buy books next semester), and take me time to still be sane. I don't really know what's going on any more. this is crazy. constantly switching back and forth from one situation to another. Not like i'm the only one, but still.

see you all in 14 days.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Nerves



Like when riding a horse, or dealing with nearly any situation, it is normally better to hide how scared you actually are during the situation, and, if appropriate, take control with confidence. At least, this is how i usually tend to act when i'm in a photoshoot with someone. It's very important, especially if the person is not used to being photographed, to help them, guide them, talk to them, and work with them through the shoot. if you're nervous and they know it, they get nervous, then the shot is ruined (usually) etc etc etc...you get the picture (HAHAHAPUN).

today i have a photoshoot with my dance professor Elodie. She is way cool...very very nice, obsessed with rachel brice (like me), and has dreadlocks down to her BUTT. I'm really looking forward to shooting her, but at the same time i'm very extreemely nervous. what happens if i choke on my french? what happens if i don't live up to my own expectations? what if the setting i found doesn't work out? what if, as a result of this shoot, she hates me forever? or what if it turns into a great friendship after this? what if????

edits as of Dec 3: PHOTOSHOOT WENT AMAZING. 200+ FRAMES IN AN HOUR. I DID NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING!! (you can see all the shots i saved/preliminary edits at this link: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2024544&l=f256e&id=35502054 )

sometimes i think nerves help me get the better shot. if i manage to deal with them and put them aside. for all those that know the story, sometimes i get into the "aleitheometer trance" and when i can, good photos. when i can't...i rely on the mediocraty of what i know. not on what i can do.

in other news, i got my first A the other day (woohoo!) and one of my henna drawings was chosen to be the motif for the invitation to the school's gallery and "soiree des jeunes talents" (evening of young talents)party. exciting!

this past weekend i went to paris and stayed with pierre, sylvie, and the girls. everything went well, and i had a good time, but it's also a little awkward. I know i really like the girls, but this is the first time i've ever been able to talk to them! and since vanessa is studying all the time, and alexandra mumbles a bit (hard for me to understand her) it just made it a little...more awkward. I found myself relying too much on what i knew instead of going with the flow. little strained. hope that'll change. We had dinner at Annette's place on saturday night with everyone. Stani told me that i grew up. i giggled, but maybe it's true.

this upcomming weekend i have plans with the welsley girls! good times await.

i can't wait to come home. I am very ready.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

And in addition...


There are many digital photo editing programs out there, one of the most famous of which is Adobe PhotoShop. In photoshop, it is possible to cut things out of other images and put them together in one image, creating something that was never actually there to begin with. for example, in the picture above, i added the butterfly in from a photo i took a few years ago in montreal.

well, i feel a little as if that's happened.

when my parents were here, we met a bunch of girls from Wellsley, Amherst, and Vassar. We decided to get together for dinner one night and after that my life has improved greatly. we're all friends, and i finally feel actually accepted, not forced accepted, into a group of people here. it's never been cooler in aix (temperture wise also). very much cut and pasted into my life, but we mesh. it's neat. and fun. a lot funner.

in addition, i'll be shooting my dance teacher soon (as in photography) and THAT is really cool. woman has got awesome hair, and this is probably the closest i'll ever get to shooting the esteemed rachel brice. also, my teacher says i've been doing really well.

ALSO i'm not going to fail grammer like i thought i might be.

so life is good in aix. but i'm ready to come home. 27 days and counting.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Chemistry


Photography has a strong base in chemistry. When it was first developed way back when in the 1800's, it was more about the science behind the image than the art behind the image.

To develop negatives, and then individual images, one uses three chemicals that i know only by photography names (not by actual chemical names, unfortunately). They are, in order of usage:
developer, stop, and fix

they must be with the negatives/photo paper in the correct quantities and for the correct amount of time. To fail to do this will result in really destroyed images, or happy accidents. More commonly than not however, the former. So it's important to pay attention to what you put into your light-tight film canister, or baths for print making.

My parents came to visit me on thursday! I was so excited to see them. First we went out to lunch, then I had class, then I met them for dinner. I wanted to take them to this japanese-korean place i liked, but it was full up, so instead we went to this great tapas restaurant that was completely bustling with activity. Yummy sangria (or beer, in dad's case) and tapas all around. Neat fact: there is a drink at this restaurant that has something to do with coffee and alcohol in a shot class, on fire, that you drink with a straw. while it is on fire. weiiird.

Friday morning I went to class, and then the three of us met up and went to "cathedral des images," which is this old stone quarry which now houses these amazing light shows set to musique. The subject of the one we went to was van gogh's paintings. it was incredable. Afterward, we went up to the local castel on a moutain with an adjoining medeival village. views a plenty. Then we took the hour drive back to Aix, where my parents met my host mother, and then out to dinner at the Korean-japanese place. There we met these girls from vassar and welsey who i exchanged numbers with, and then went back to their hotel room, then back to my house. We planned to go to avignon in the morning.

unfortunately, I hadn't watched what i was eating close enough or something, because at about 5:00AM i woke up with some really horrible poison sickness. needless to say, avingon was out of the question, and i spent 90% of the day in and out of sleep in bed, hardly eating. good times abound, n'est pas?

sunday morning i woke up feeling a lot better, and we decided to do the avignon trip. It was good, but after lunch i wasn't feeling too hot, so instead of walking we took a little train around. yes, we saw the pont d'avignon where one dances where one dances. overall it was a good day, finished off by italian food on the cours mirabeau, the big main street in aix. i had a whole bowl of pasta without feeling too ill. success! but unfortunately i tasted too much of my parent's deserts. big mistake there.

monday morning i was supposed to leave for paris with my parents and spend time there with family (tuesday was armistance day and no one had school, so i was just taking monday off). Unfortunately, i wasn't feeling too hot and decided to stay in Aix, where i sat on my bum for two days. feeling much better now!

so that's that. I gotta watch what i put in my mouth a little closer i guess. the figurative film of our weekend together was somewhat messed up by some stupid food. ah well.

in other news, i emailed Gary, boss from the summer, on what chicago was like right now. he says the museum's doing great and that they're looking to house the obama campaign materials! very exciting. He also recommended some good ice cream places in Paris. :-)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Entry NOT about photography....

SO. VACATION UPDATES ARE HERE.

Ive decided to skip the photography relation in these next few entries because i just want to give you guys just basically how everything went everywhere, and a few notes about life the first days back. maybe i'll throw in some photography relations. maybe.

so.

VENICE:
Friday: so my train/bus schedule to get to venice went as follows-> leave saturday morning on a bus to Marseille, train from marseille to nice, nice to milan, milan to venice. little did a realize that instead of my bus being at 6:30 in the morning, it was in fact, my train from marseille that left at that ungodly hour. thanks to a little help from Marie-Claire, all went well. though i was hacking and wheezing and sniffling my way through planning how i was going to get to the station.
Saturday:
(travel day 1) hopped on the bus to marseille at 5:45 AM and listened to the bus driver to the sounds of already drunk highschoolers on the back of the bus, who were seranading us along with the radio the song "eye of the tiger." what a wake up! made my train (just) and slept most of the way to nice. on the train from nice to milan, i sat in a group of four with a french woman and her two kids. they were really nice, and one of the kids, the girl, was in a language centered high school. trying to copy what she had seen from american TV shows, every five seconds was punctuated with a bored "ohmyGOD." pretty funny.
At one point on that train, an italian couple sat down in the group of four across the aisle from us, facing an australian couple. the older italian couple spoke no other language, the same for the middle age australians. and so, i got to be translator with the french woman. the italian couple spoke to her in italian, who translated to me in french, who translated for the australians in english. it was a lot of fun, and after it, i talked a lot with the french family. I told my FIRST JOKE IN FRENCH! it was awesome.
On the train from milan to venice, i sat with two vietnamese women, who i swear looked like they were my age, when in fact they were both at least 10 years my senior. we talked about the differences between asiatic cultures and european ones, and a little bit about vietnamese sentaments about the vietnam (or as they call it: the american) war. she said they're mostly over it, and that it's more our guilt trip now. i don't know how to feel about that honestly. i'm glad it's still a guilt trip for us. keeps us in check to a certain point i feel.
Arrived in venice around 7:00 and gasped outloud. it was everything i could have never imagined, yet thought about my entire life. I spent a total 10 minutes there walking to the two buses i would have to take to get to my hostel.
Got to my hostel, (camping d'alba oro or something), checked in, and wrote a brief note to you guys letting you know id gotten in. went to my cabin, went to bed.
Sunday:
(venice 1) I woke up with the morning light, as i was on a very uncomfotable top bunk in a cold cabin (the heater didn't do much for me when i was next to a tiny, air leaking window). Spoke with my roommate for a while, her name was carolyn, and she was columbian, just finished with a bus tour. She told me that two of her friends from the bus tour were actually staying at the same hostel as us, and invited me to go explore the city with them. I agreed, and spent an amazing day just wandering around the city with them. That night her two friends left, which was sad, but a huge busload of australians, new zealanders (kiwis), brits, and south africans roled in. there was a big party that night, and i made lots of friends. I was referred to as "love" for the first time in my life. "Hey love, what's your name?" good times had all around.

Monday:
(venice 2) The second day my roommate left and it was just me in the cabin. I walked around venice by myself, just taking pictures. Walked from one end to the other. good day, but not as good as the previous. that night hung out more with the aussies, though i had completely NO voice whatsoever (the cold i was getting over and previous nights party had kinda taken care of that). After most had gone to bed, one of my new friends and i stayed up a little later and watched "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" on my laptop. good times, once again.

Tuesday:
(travel day 2) On tuesday i said goodbye to the aussies and left for florence. it was a rainy voyage and arrival, but it was soooo good to see jasmine waiting for me at the train station. We hugged (not air kissed!) and she helped me find my hostel, just about a 10, 15 minute walk from the station. It was the same company, but a super nice hostel. i was staying in a mixed room (boys and girls) of 8 people. when i arrived, the people staying with me were mostly girls from the US traveling for their week break, and a seargent from the UK. The girls were really...uh...vapid so i tried not to spend much time with them. Instead, i talked to the seargent and mary and jasmine that first day. since it was raining, i tried not to go outside too much. ate my umpteenth pasta dinner (a la arrabiata, for you eddie izzard fans) and went to bed. (this night, punctuated by the least amount of sniffling and coughing yet!)
Wednesday:
(florence 1) On wednesday i met mary and jasmine at the train station in the morning, and then they showed me around some of the markets in florence, and we ate lunch at this delicious (and cheap!) sandwhich place. it was so nice to see them. SO nice. When they went to class, i continued walking around for a little bit before meeting some of my roommates at the Uffizzi gallery, where we say birth of venice and spring by botecelli, as well as some other gorgeous artworks. Later on, when i ate dinner, i sat down with this lovely red headed fellow, Owain. Recently graduated, he was "woofing," or traveling from organic farm to organic farm, working in exchange for food and housing. He was taking a break and meeting his girlfriend in a few days. We had a great conversation that branched all over traveling, shakespeare, farming, chestnuts, and other things. We finished the night by watching some def poetry jam and reading some ee cummings before agreeing to meet up to climb the duomo the following day.
Thursday:
(florence 2) Thursday i woke up a little earlier and went to see "David" and some pretty paintings at the Academia. David was...amazing. I couldnt even imagine the detail that was in his hands. I blinkedm, but i could have sworn i saw him breath. Afterward, i met mary and jasmine a little bit later at their school (which is in this amazing old building thing) and ate lunch together. Afterward, I met up with Owain and we climbed the 423 steps to get to the top of the duomo. it was...tiring, and a little scary climbing up all these little mediaval steps, but amazing once we got to the top. Because the weather had been kinda crazy, when you looked off of one half of the duomo it was dark and stormy, but the other side was bright and sunny. cool. Afterwards, because he knew the city, owain showed me a delicious and cheap place to get gelato, and then we went back to the hostel where a note from mary was waiting for me on my bed (she's so shady) telling me that a bunch of folks were meeting up at the duomo later to go out to a bar where a band was playing. My old roommates had left at this point and had been replaced by Kirsty, an australian woman who was at the end of her trip, Mr. Argentina, who was, as you can guess, argentinian, Martin, a really sweet german guy who had just left a couple in their 60's he had been staying with for a while, and Adrian, a guy from australia somewhere in between the end and the middle of his trip around europe. Owain, Martin, Adrian, and I decided to head out to dinner together, and afterward head out to meet mary and jasmine and folks. the night that followed was a lot of fun, even though we were a little concerned about exactly how much martin had drunk. it was a great time though. Said goodbye to Owain, who was moving into a hotel for a few days with his girlfriend.

Friday:
(florence 3) what did i do on friday...i honestly don't really remember. I woke up late, walked around a bit, met up with mary and jasmine. That night, we went to a halloween party at a bar. It was a good time. Jasmine got "mama mia"ed. that was seriously entertaining.
Saturday:
(travel 3) I left florence with a sad goodbye to mary and jasmine at around 11 in the morning. Unfortunately, due to two late trains and a missed bus back to aix-en-provence, i only got back home around 2 in the morning. I slept until 12:00 on sunday...the longest i've slept since.

all in all the vacation was AMAZING. I had such a good time. Unfortuantely, now i think i realize exactly how lonely i feel here. I was so easy to connect to the people i met on my trip, and of course to actually see some friends...but now that i'm back in aix, i have a full view of what life could be like NOT here. and that's both a blessing and a curse. I think it might have been better if i skipped study abroad, and just backpacked for a few months. would have been a better experience i'm sure based off of this little one i had for a week.

Lili, the program head here, had us all write evaluations of the program before we left. Unfortunately, due to my condition of stress and annoyance, i was probably a little more honest than i wanted to be. she, in turn, now wants to talk to me about it. god...i really hate this woman. the only reason she wants to talk to me is to play god and be intimidating. trust me on this one.

that's all the updates for now...see you guys sooooon! I'll be back in town on dec. 22nd.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

IM IN FLORENCE!!!

Im in florence now, checked into my hostel, found mary and jasmine, and i'm chillin with jas while mary's in her last class. it's raining. poo on that.

i started speaking with a strange australian-ish accent because a) my voice is weird in an after-throat-sick kinda way and b) because i havn't been speaking that much english, and when i started speaking a lot of it it was only around australians. who were, by the way, awesome. i had the best time ever in venice.

all updates will come after i get back to aix, in two very long entries...so look for them!

love to all

ps: i think venice photos are gonna be good!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

IM IN VENICE

...and none of you are on skype....

for like the 5 seconds i saw of it before getting onto the bus to go to the hostel, venice is AWESOME. i cant wait to start taking pictures!!!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Location 2


So we've already talked a lot about location, seeing as i've kinda been all over the place, and to talk about location when one is traveling is kinda...well, ever present. well, the time has come to yet again change location.

I (now) find that changing ones physical location is key in seeing things differently. Like, I can look at a square in the states, and i can look at a square in europe, and see them very differently based on their location. or, i can just see a square.

i find that differentiating between seeing different squares and seeing the same one is very important. It's important to recognize that in this world everything affects everything else, so it may indeed be the same square i'm looking at. yay! unity!

or, they can be two different squares. yay american upbringing full of uniqueness!

in any case, next week i'll be in Italy, and i probably won't update. I'm very excited...I get to see mary and jasmine and venice and florence! yay venice! i hope my hostel is good. I'll be taking lots and lots and lots of photos.

speaking of photos (and I always seem to be) this week my photo class went really well. The girls relaxed and everyone was just having a good time being artsy-fartsy and looking at things like composition. i managed to teach! it was fun.

also, i entered a contest. my entry, as well as all the others, can be found here: http://zemotion.deviantart.com/journal/20980761/
(just scroll down a little...mine is the one from the same shoot as the photo this week...bright red shoes!) i hope i win.

miss you all, hope everyone is healthier than me at the moment (i hate colds).

ps: i cut my hair
pps: it's cute

Monday, October 13, 2008

Wanting the same old thing but delivering differently



...I really want a crepe.

but besides that.

so yom kippur sucked, and i'm not going to go into more detail then: a) was obviously starving and b) was alone.

I did a shoot yesterday of a girl in my group, hayley. She's also a photographer (but does more landscapes) and she's got this great hair. So together we headed out to the park. overall it went well, but i'm taking the same kinds of shots. it makes me sad cause i really want to start looking at things differently, getting a new angle, something more exciting than a pretty portrait. I like pretty portraits, but I've gotta start doing something different. so i tried some new, less realistic editing techniques, and i'm really liking them. I'm gonna start doing that more.
(<- except for the ones when she was hangin upsidown. those were new ideas)

tomorrow is my first day of photo class. Kinda nervous, but i think i can handle it. i think if i keep thinking about it that way, i'll do better. i hope.

i also think i'm gaining weight...my host mother wanted to go on a diet, but to her the diet was eating whatever the diet food was...plus dinner. cause if you didn't eat that, you'd be hungry! so...i'm not so sure she gets that. i try and walk everywhere and get my exercise, but she cooks with a lot of cream. and breakfast is bread and butter with jam. starting to need to eat some special k or something. maybe i'll buy some. maybe today i'll treat myself to a crepe like a "good luck with the start of your trying to loose healthy weight!" and then tomorrow really start. yea, i think i'll do that.

something that's really frustrating me about this program is that all the students are supposed to be out friday and saturday nights. but money for buying healthy food is a problem, and what ends up being eaten is fatty, cheaper food. it would be less expensive and healthier for me to buy something and cook it at home, but we're supposed to give our host families a break from us, and i don't have a kitchen somewhere else, and if i did cook at home i'd have to make enough for marie-claire also, thereby not giving her a break...etc.etc. it's really frustrating. can't i just make myself a salad with some chicken in it instead of a cream soup, meat, bread, fruit, salad...the list goes on. it's delicious, but i'm gaining weight. and i really don't want to cause i worked hard to loose the few pounds i did.

i hate delicious food. sometimes i wish marie-claire was a terrible cook so i wouldn't eat as much of it. also, she doesn't eat a lot but makes more for me so i feel obliged to finish it cause she looks at me funny when i don't. or at least i think she looks at me funny. hard to read expressions sometimes.

her granddaughter comes to live with us today. maybe she can help me finish the food.

...i ate raw meat. like hamburger meat. apparently an Armenian delicacy. never again.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Teaching Photography


I am mostly a self-taught photographer with help from my father, teaching me things about aperture and shutter speed (and most recently flash, landscape photography, and how not to lean on a tripod when taking night pictures). I've only had two official courses in photography which were last semester...one digital (documentary photography) and one darkroom (photo 1). I got good grades in both, and spent a large majority of my time either shooting, digitally editing, or darkrooming it up. my hands had a permanent smell of darkroom on them.

teaching art is difficult. no one can say something is good or bad, but more "well composed," or, "the technical aspects of this work are really sound." things like that. With other subjects, like math, something is right or wrong (or sometimes, partially right) but with photography or art things get very very difficult. can't insult the student's work, gotta build the confidence, but also have to show them how to use their tools, give them space to experiment (most good things come by accident), but also give them spaces to jump off of. I have been in a few art classes (currently in 2!) and all teachers have a different approach.

For the study abroad program I'm in, all the students have to be involved in both community service and local clubs, to help us become integrated in the community, as well as help our colloquial french continue to improve (nothing like a bit of practice, eh?). My club is going to be tribal style belly dance lessons (beginning tonight!) and my community service...well...that's the story of this entry.

A few weeks ago, we were all given a list of potential community service listings, and a few positions landed at a local catholic high school, sacred heart (lycee sacre coeur). The positions were helping in some after school clubs there, among which were theater, dance, and photo. I jumped at the opportunity to help in a photo club, and i was placed there. The first class was supposed to be next week, but the woman in charge of the clubs (and also, the teacher of the dance class) wanted to meet with me so that she could talk to me about what to expect, change the night of the club, and show me around. So she showed up at AUCP yesterday to give me the tour.

while we were talking, she kept asking me about my experience in the field, and what things were neccessary in order to run an adequate darkroom. I was a little confused about why she wasn't asking these questions to the teacher, and instead to me, so I thought maybe I was missing something in translation.

"euh, je suis desolee, mais j'ai un question." (um, i'm sorry, i have a question)
"je t'ecoute." (I'm listining :-) )
"Est-ce que je suis le prof? ou est-ce que je suis un assistant, ou quoi?" (Am I the teacher? or am i an assistant, or what?)
"Oh, tu est le prof pour ce club. Est-ce que ca ce bien?" (Oh, you're the teacher, is that okay?)
"Oh, oui, bien sur!" (oh, yes, of course!) ::inner panic hidden::

so...now i'm teaching photography to a few high schoolers for about 2 hours every tuesday before my belly dancing class. WHOA. I'm really excited, but also incredably nervous. My french isn't that good, and with photography vocabulary...it's all a little overwhelming at this point. After I found this out and the meeting was over, i raced back to AUCP (my school) to shoot off a few panicked emails to fellow photography students asking for advice, and called dad. he didn't seem to sense the panic.

I see that this is a golden opportunity, and I intend to make the best of it that I can. I'm going to prograssively take them through things, making results for a show at the end of the year. while balancing classwork, clubs, and vacation planning. oh lord.

other things are pretty good. Marie Claire has got a cold, which doesn't bode well for me, but i've been giving her zinc and assorted oils, which she says helps a lot. Classwork is getting better, and yom kippur starts tomorrow evening (i got an excused absence for thursday. HAH.)

hope everyone had a lovely week of repentance, and I wish all an easy fast. Bonne Chance! A bientot! ( good luck! see you soon!)

ps: i saw a dior ad. looked really similar to my photo. see shots below.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Flash


Using the flash with a camera can be really difficult. It's good for a lot of things - taking pictures at night, getting rid of ugly shadows in the day time, creating interesting effects...but some people (like myself) really don't like flash. Personally, i find that when used like most people use flash (like i use flash) it creates this bleached, non-even, and strange effect. I don't care for it personally. My father (hey dad!) is infinitely more skilled at using a flash than i am. Right up there with learning about lenses, flash is on my list to learn all about.

Flash tends to take away the secrets, take away the shadows from a picture (usually portraits). When you look at a person, they have all these contours, and different light hits them different ways, and that creates these really interesting and beautiful shadows. More often than not, flash takes these shadows away. really makes everything just look like what it is.

*flash*
wake up, it's pitch black in my room, but my alarm is going off. take off the covers, shiver a little, open the shutters. it's cold outside today, and it's still dark at 7:00 AM. close the window, grab my bath stuff (shampoo etc) and take a shower, turning off the water when i'm not rinsing out my hair or washing. 10 minutes later, i'm out of the "salle de bain" and getting dressed.

*flash*
i either walk or hop on the bus to school, depending on how much i have to carry. the bus usually only knocks off 15 minutes of travel, and i want to walk usually to try and loose a little weight since everyone here seems to be stick thin with no butt or chest. talk to andrew for 15 minutes on my way there.

*flash*
in class, depending on the day i either have 1, 2, or 3 to get through. I like painting, but the other classes, especially french culture, are difficult for me to get through. I don't understand what i've read, and analysis without reviewing what the reading was about doesn't help much since everything's in french. maybe i should make a study group for that class, as well as grammar.

*flash*
buy lunch. yummy sandwhich. trying to get out of the habit of buying something sweet for dessert. why does france have so many patisseries? (pastry shops)

*flash*
I take the bus or walk home. do a little HW. wait until 7 to eat, and after that do a little more HW if i have any. watch TV with marie-claire. go to bed around 10:30.

shadows...what's been taken away here? the nuances of the french language? the difficulty of wanting to say "i'm really excited about this" but not being able to because there's not really a word for "excited" in french that doesn't have a sexual connotation? spending lots and lots of money gathering supplies, looking for travel opportunities? I don't really know.

going to services again tonight...it's really strange here. there are only orthodox synagoges. everyone, regardless of intensity of religion, goes to these services. last night was shockingly non-inclusive, but the jared's (a friends) host family was really sweet. I enjoyed spending time with them. I'm one of 3 jewish kids in the program, jared and zac are the other two. tonight is more services and then dinner at jared's parents house...the only jewish host family. I'm looking forward to it. Jared has a mother, father, 2 host sisters close to my age, and a younger host sister who's adorable. His host father is really funny and a friendly guy, the host mother is just wonderfully sweet and understanding, and the sisters are really friendly.

Last night at temple was hard...i miss b'nai israel and not really knowing anyone at shul. even though all temples are supposed to be for all jews, i felt excluded from the community because i didn't know anyone there really. it was such a releif when i saw jared and zac because hey, at least i knew some one to say "shana tova" to. it's nice to reconnect, even briefly, with all the old hebrew school crowd. I guess i never realized exactly how much a congregation is like a family.

the security at this shul is RIDICULOUS almost. i had to answer questions about where i was from, who i was with, what i was doing, have my tiny purse searched, and once i entered, i couldn't leave the building. i guess in the US there hasn't really been issues with things like that...I was shocked at the level of security. happy it was there i guess, but not really sure why. i mean, i know why, but not really.

in funny news...there's a musical here. "Rabbi Jacob" my host mother tells me it's hilarious!

Monday, September 29, 2008

SHANA TOVA


...that just about says it. hope everyone back in the states has a good first evening. i miss you all.

as it turns out, my community service has been postponed this week and i'll be able to go to temple tonight. woohoo! hope i can find my way there...better leave now, just in case.

book recommendation: People of the Book

Monday, September 22, 2008

Framing



In photography, framing something is how you get a point across. By framing the same shot differently, you can actually change the meaning of the photo. For example, if you have a scene of two well dressed women ignoring a homeless man, the way you frame the shot can change the meaning of the situation. Say you include the homeless man, but not the two women. This makes a sympathy shot for the viewer, the viewer can relate to the homeless man, see his life as a downtrodden soul, things like that. If you just shoot the two women, you get a shot of two well dressed women, you look at their clothes, demeanor, etc. But if you shoot the scene as a whole, you get an idea of who the women are as people, who the man is as a person, and how society has put them together as a whole.

it's very interesting to meet the other people in my program. Since none of our french is good enough to express ourselves the way that we would normally back in the states, we each get a very small view, a "framed" view if you will, of how the other people are normally. All of us are relatively polite and friendly toward each other in french (which we're supposed to be speaking 100% of the time), but when we slip into english, it's really interesting to see how exactly things change. Peoples personalities actually change. It's very difficult to describe, and very weird. People are still nice and polite, but the way in which they express themselves changes very dramatically.

anyway.

the visit to gwen, elise's friend, could not have gone better in my opinion, except if i had had more time in durfort. I left friday afternoon, took an hour bus to marseille, about a 4 hour train to toulouse, an hour long bus to revel, and about a 10 min car ride back to "la cascade," the name of the retreat gwen has created. The house was BEAUTIFUL, and gwen's really awesome personality was the only thing that outshown it. She fed me a great dinner the night i arrived, and we talked for hours before going to bed. In the morning, i showed her my website, we went out to the farmers market (live chickens for sale, anyone?) and went to the nearby town of "i don't remember the name." It was a really great visit...I felt a lot more connected to durfort and its surroundings that i ever had in aix. i think it had something to with the ruralism of the place, but i can't be sure. At 1:00, i did the whole trip in reverse to get back home, but because of layovers i got in around 11:00PM. long two days, but totally worth it.

classes are going well, i especially like my art classes. they are super awesome, and i've forgotten how much i like drawing. Actually, last night i used some skills that i learned in my math class to draw a section of my homework. The assignment was to draw our bedroom, so i drew it in correct perspective. I was pretty fun to get back into that, and my host mother was officially VERY impressed.

that's all for now. I miss you guys terribly. (photo at the top from durfort - the stream down the center of the road was used at the begining of the town to help form the copper pots that the area is known for. photo at the middle is the view from the upstairs terrace of gwen'shouse, looking back toward the mountains.)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

New Skill Sets 2


So...sorry about not writing for a while. my host mother doesn't have internet, and in order to write quickly and easily i like to use this computer, and i've forgotten my password. so i found a small bar that has free wifi, got a tea, and now i write.

Elaborating a little on skill sets...

it's important to always be learning new things about your medium in my opinion. that way, you never tire. if you think you know everything there is to know, try a completely different style, or go out of your way to find out something you never new before about it. A new technique, add on, developing process, new and intriguing artist in the medium...something like that. That's what i love about photography...constantly expanding in all directions really.

French for me is kinda like that. Also, french culture. always pretty much learning something new every day. Whether that thing be that they dub episodes of CSI and call it "Les Experts," or that I actually really like watching soccer with my host mother, marie-claire. She's absolutely fantastic by the way...I absolutely adore her.

Aix en Provence...nice, not too busy city in the south of france. very pretty. very quaint almost. people are friendly, and the kids in my program are sweet. I like it here, but i don't find it extraordinarily different from life in the states by any means. I wonder why I'm here sometimes.

My french has been improving like crazy. every day i feel more confident in my use of it, and i'm able to talk to strangers in relatively broken french now, but they understand my meaning, and that's what counts in the end I think.

so day to day activities....wake up early, small breakfast of baguette (pain grille - toast) with burre (butter) et (and) confiture (jam). actually, the jam is home made by marie claire. it's pretty excellent. between the two of us we've finished off the jar of fraise (strawberry) and have moved on to the orange (orange :-p )

i take the bus to AUCP (american university center of provence) for class every day, usually pretty early. I'm taking French Culture, Grammar, Oral and Written Expression, Painting, and Drawing. oh lalalalalala....c'est tres chere pour les dernier deux (omg, it's so expensive for the last two.)

I live in an apartment complex (lots of buildings...it has its own mini mall and bus stop) with 3 other girls (all with different host families). one of them is my best friend here, Marisa. She goes to franklin and marshall, and she's a quaker. cool kid.

My room is bigger than my one at home and school combined, with a big bed, desk, closet (WOW), and extra chair. it's pretty awesome.


this weekend i'm off to visit Elise's friend Gwen in a little town called "Durfort." She has an artists retreat there, and i'm very excited to meet her.

(the picture at the top: was walking around aix, came upon a group of kids that were dressed up in fairy costumes. AMAZING.)

Thursday, September 4, 2008

New Skill Sets

so....HALLO FROM FRANCE!!!

photography is constantly expanding. from film, to different types of film, to different types of developing, to digital, to 28934982375 digital darkrooms and all million functions of those, things can get pretty exciting. there's always something to learn about.

for example, when i was at the museum i learned about a camera that changes its aperture by changing its length. weird!!

well, french for me is kinda new skill i guess. it's something that i want, and need (at this point, i am in france under contract to speak french) to learn, and to learn well. sure, i'm just begining and mistakes are expected (like over exposing an image), but at the same time i really want to be perfect. I want people to think I am making a strong effort. so the perfection issue leads me to mumble, so maybe they won't notice my mistake. which, if it isn't obvious already, only aggravates the problem.

so. france so far.
plane ride was GREAT. got three whole seats to myself, and met a girl from norwood who's staying somewhere in paris. that was cool. we kept eachother company when we weren't sleeping. i used her camera to take 'out the window' pictures.

i found annette very easily, and we took the metro back to her place, where i washed, she gave me some maps, and i went out to explore her neighborhood. lots and lots of diveristy in this part. it made me feel a little uncomfortable which was weird, but maybe just because i was jetlagged and not really sure about anything. at an internet cafe, i made a really terrible numbers mistake, and got so flustered trying to correct myself (note to self: .15euros, is not 5euros.) i tried to give him way more than was needed, and he ended up just telling me it was okay and not to worry about paying. wayyy embarressing.

today i went out and bought a watch. i realized that i had been using my cell phone to tell time, and that this would not work here. it's pretty. silver with a blue face. and it works. after that purchase, i went to notre dame to walk around. it was more familiar to me than anything else, so it was very comforting. then dinner with pierre's family (omg - vanessa and alexandra...GORGEOUS)

after that i came back here, found soem shady internets, and posted this. I found out who my host mother is (one woman only...marie claire) and called her and she seems very nice.

...I also saw a starbucks.

(no pics this entry...internets too sketchy to upload anything)

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Film vs. Digital


In the photographic community, the argument over film camera work vs. digital camera work is a big and very defensive one. Filmers, those who seriously and almost exclusively support film (i made up that term), will turn their noses up at anything digital, claiming that the artwork is lost in it. Digital folks, those who enjoy shooting digitally, express the convenience of digital, the cheaper processing, the ever-expanding options...then there are those, like me, which think that digital and film photography are two completely different mediums entirely.

in Provence, I'm expected to have limited to no contact with the internet except for exclusive school work. I'm supposed to abandon the phone in favor of old-fashioned letters, and have very little contact with family and friends back home. this is what the program says.

because the program is supposed to be language immersion, i understand this way of thinking. however, i also don't understand this way of thinking. right now, i feel like even though an abroad program is supposed to give you a different perspective, allow you to completely immerse yourself in a different culture...but how is one supposed to do that unless they also remain in touch with where there from so one can compare and reflect. Like film and digital photography...one can appreciate the ever growing options in digital, but only because film existed first. and because now they're both so different, it's possible to truly appreciate both.

moral of this story: i'm going to keep as close in contact as i can. so as to better appreciate the differences in my experiences.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Reviewing Past Work

When a photographer reviews some of his or her past work, he or she might feel a variety of emotions. nostalgia, embarrassment, or slight amusement for what he or she once considered quality work. Because one is always learning new things, this opportunity to go back and review comes up quite often.

(^old photo)
In my own work, I review shoots I did from fall semester 2007. I can hardly even begin to appreciate my work as art (now) until about halfway through spring semester 2008. And now, I only see myself getting better and learning and growing with my tools. It's pretty cool. for me, at least.

(^new photo)
at the same time, as i reflect (once again) on my chicago experience, i notice that I've grown quite substantially from the end of spring semester. This, is also cool. At least I think so. I've grown more comfortable with myself. I prefer walking to places close by as opposed to driving. things have gotten easier to deal with in terms of money management. my parents seem more content to allow me to plan my life and work with me instead of trying to monitor me.

also, i seem to have developed some kind of the somewhat feirce loyalty to chicago that chicagoans have. not quite as strong, but i do notice myself saying "our" or "we" when referring to Chicago. while maybe this isn't cool, i find it pretty funny.

anyway, so if you havn't gathered by now I'm home. the drive back was great fun (only a few bursts of rain and traffic) and i've been seeing folks and getting my life back in order, only to soon be uprooted. scary.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Photos on the Web


As a photographer, it's really important to monitor your work if it's online. In this day and age, in the short years that i've been doing photography, i've heard of numerous outrageous cases of larger corporations and smaller ones alike (as well as bands and other groups and individuals) stealing art to use for their own purposes.

this is really worrying to me. it's so easy to steal art and use it and deny ever having stolen it. there's so much work out there, so much beautiful work, and yet it's regarded as "worthless." meaning no one is willing to pay for it.

to an artist that's a big insult. basically it's saying that "while i enjoy your work, i'm not willing to pay for it, because i don't think that i should have to when i can take it for no money at all."

where are the ethics here?

anyway, i'm thinking about all of this cause i'm in the process of uploading my website to the internet (all annoying problems with it aside) and i'm worried about people stealing my art. while it's certainly not as up to par as i consider some of my contemporaries work is, it is a worry to me. without the internet it's hard to book jobs to make money, but it also costs in more ways than one. it's a concern.

anyway, life in chi-town (chicago!) is closing out pretty well. my boss talked to me the other day and complimented me (a lot) in giving me a small verbal evaluation (writen evaluations to be seen in a few weeks) and i only have one day left. projects are finished out, been having a great time this past week just doing some shoots and having fun!

I'll be coming in on sunday night (hopefully) and i'm looking forward to the ren faire on the 17th. looking WAY forward to it actually.

other news - the belly dancing lessons this summer have gone super well - i love being challenged by the style, and using hip hop skills in new ways. the people are fantastic, and i wish i could continue with them, but unfortunately, chicago is a little far to travel from pennsylvania every week for class.

also - the kemper scholars made award certificates for each other. Mine reads:

"The citizens of kemperville enthusiastically award Liora K with the honor of MOST LIKELY TO PHOTOGRAPH THE PRESIDENT - UPON REQUEST" (the president, of course, being a fellow female scholar...it's her back up plan. her first plan is to be Supreme Court Justice.)

I also think my photography has improved a WHOLE lot over the past semester and summer...i'm happy with so much more of my work. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR THE CAMERA. by the way.

i'm curious...what do you guys think of this online epidemic of stealing art? where do you think the line is drawn between appreciation and theft?

Sunday, August 3, 2008

NEWS NEWS NEWS


...this does NOT have a photography theme

UPDATES ON MY SUMMER GOALS: VISA AND WEBSITE

VISA: OBTAINED! FRANCE IS WILLING TO LET ME IN!!!

WEBSITE: FINISHED! IN THE PROCESS OF UPLOADING IT TO THE INTERNETS!!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Developing


Developing film was a process that I learned last semester. It's very calming, frustrating, exciting, magical...well, a whole list of adjectives basically. Let me outline the steps of developing negatives for you.

1. put your film on a film reel. in the pitch black dark.
2. put your film reel into a light-tight canister. in the dark.
3. turn on the lights, walk into the sink room.
4. prewash your film with room-temp water
5. add developer chemical into the light tight container. slosh around for a good long while.
6. add stop chemical to stop the developing process. slosh around for 30 seconds.
7. add fix chemical. slosh.
8. open canister, put film through final wash.
9. drop in some photoflo (to prevent streaks!).
10. hang to dry.

now, a recipe for a basic first internship:
1. get internship. difficult, but with persistence usually things come through. usually.
2. get dressed. in the dark (or at least the early morning light)
3. become enlightened as to what your internship entails. get shown to an office.
4. begin learning about the culture of your organization. get your hands a little dirty.
5. add culture. slosh.
6. add your own assertiveness. stop cultural imperialism! be your own person! (but only for 30 seconds)
7. add hard work to produce an outcome, or multiple outcomes. slosh.
8. show work to boss, watch it get marked up, returned to you for final go-over.
9. make it preeeeeeeettty.
10. and then it's over.

ah...comparison lists. much like the lengthy to-do list on my desk.

***note: i was thinking about where the whole "learning and growing" aspect fit in here...i guess it's that when you're developing film the images are already there, the developing brings it out of you. You always had the ability to do your job, but the process it what makes it visible to others, as well as yourself.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Shooting Posture

When shooting, especially without flash or in low light settings, it is important to have proper camera posture to try and eliminate as much shake as possible. It's important, for example, to keep your elbows close to your body to provide stability for the camera - you're leaning on something, it helps.

of course, you could also just grab your friend and use him or her as a tripod. this is also quite effective, unless he or she does not wish to be a tripod, in which case your efforts may fail miserably.

but it's also important to develop your own stance, so that you know what's comfortable and what works for you. it's important to be comfortable whenever you're doing art - otherwise it'll read in your artwork. even though they might not realize it consciously, viewers will recognize your anxiety, discomfort, or distrust in your own work subconsciously...you need to have confidence, and confidence often comes with comfort and a little bit of individuality.

finally, after all summer, I'm finally starting to feel really comfortable at work. people are starting to hand me more responsibility, i feel like an actual employee that people trust and enjoy spending time with, rather than just an intern thrown into the middle of everyone's life, both at their convenience and inconvenience. I've stopped being afraid to slouch, i've started showing a little personality. I speak in French to my boss without being scared, and I know more people and have more confidence getting around the building. it's nice - i've recognized the culture of the place, and in all the different departments i work in, but also recognized how I, Lori or Liora, can fit in.

I also think that Lori's grown up a little bit too. her name still seems weird, but i think given the situation she's done quite well.

It's also been great having the other scholars here - together we bounce ideas off eachother, talk about our respective experiences both good and bad, and what we want to do with our lives. Dr. LaHurd and E.B. have been amazing - they're like our pseudo grandfathers. They're great mentors, and obviously really care about us and our futures. it's hard to believe how amazing this program is sometimes. They are the friend tripod - there to support us, but it's up to us to frame, control, and click the shutter.

aside from all this, the internship is almost over. overall, I feel really different than I had at the beginning of the summer. i feel ready to kinda take on these upcoming challenges - ready to face the consulate, face France, face a foreign language. i can cook now, i can talk, I know I can do this.

today one of the scholars, Jan (think j = y folks), said something really interesting at our weekly meeting. He said something along the lines of "I see people doing things, and because they can do these things, I just reason that I should be able to do them too. And so i can. there's no reason I can't."

I've never reasoned things that way. Because of my difficulties with math and science, I just always assumed there were things that I was better at doing, and some things that maybe i just wasn't meant to understand. I think that this is where a lot of my anxiety stems from - my fear that I just won't be able to do it.

I have these dreams sometimes, where in them I'm in danger, and I go to slap my pursuer across the face, but I can't. My wrist just goes limp. I can hardly even control my arm...it's as if all my muscles have gone numb. I think that's the feeling i get when i get anxious - i just can't control anything.

I think that Jan has given me new hope though.

as cliche as it is, i feel like a flower - i'm just growing and learning. however, I don't feel like a flower, because some flowers have short lives, and they're delicate, and when things change - like they're put in a new environment. so in that way, i don't feel like a flower at all...maybe i feel like cactus, or navajo corn...same corn, just put in a different place to adapt to.

...click. shutter closes. more later. love to all. write me! i want to know how you're all doing!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Couple Portraits


Ah...the classic portrait question. How does one actually capture a couple without making it too cute, or too romantic, or too edgy, or too sexy? It's a difficult conundrum, especially when a photographer is only first introduced to said couple. How do you make the personality of the couple come out?

wellllllllllll...when you're one of the people IN the couple, it makes it a little easier :-D however...it's also very extremely easy to cross the overly cute line. OH WELL.

Soooo yea. I know I haven't updated in a while, but in all fairness, I've been kinda very busy, and now that Andrew is here...well...i have even less time :-). We're very happy, finally seeing each other after a four month break (aka: hell) and we're just havin a good time in the city. We went to fireworks tonight, batman and the feild museum saturday, etc etc etc.

everything is happy!


work is very busy. very extremely busy. Like i have a list of about 13 ongoing projects sitting on my desk at this very moment. Some, actually, to do with photography. my boss wants me to photograph certain things in the museum for a really big board meeting that's coming up. woohoo! exciting stuff. my second bout of photography at the museum...in case i didn't mention previously, I also photographed the fourth of july celebration.

in other news - i will definately have a visa for France before I leave here/have all of my forms in to my study abroad program. it's just taking me a little while to get there. but so far, the following photo pretty acurately describes my feelings about the situation:


that's all for now - i'll try not to let so much time pass before the next update!!

oh, and one other thing. MY OFFICIAL WEBSITE WILL ALSO BE UP BEFORE I LEAVE CHICAGO!!! (thanks to all the hard work of the lovely mr. tekamp!)

Friday, July 4, 2008

Self-Portraits


I've been thinking a lot about the interactive process I use in my photography. I like to take portraits, so a lot of my photography involves me, 1 or more models, and occasionally another photographer. While I love working with all these folks (wouldn't do it if i didn't love it) I miss the alone time of other studio art forms...like darkroom time, or the time where a painter is painting, meditating into brush strokes, or when a drawer (?) is shading a discrete portion of an apple, just totally oblivious and really into he or she is doing. Where I can just be alone and get really involved in what i'm doing, loose track of time, really get into poses and ideas that I might not feel comfortable asking my models to do. Because I'm missing this kind of alone time, I've decided to try out self portraiture. So far so good - it's very theraputic for me. put on some music, and go crazy. I posted the photos to facebook and my sister went crazy for one of them and told me to post them, so...here you go. more to come - i'm not really 100% happy with the angles and stuff, but i'm learning and liking it. :-)

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Tripods

Tripods. A photographer's lifesaver in low lighting and long exposures. By keeping the camera steady, a tripod allows a photographer to create cool effects like shooting night scenes, or allowing lots of motion to get in an image...for all those familiar with the effect of a cars tail-lights and headlights becoming straight lines in photos (ex: http://www.digital-photography-tips.net/images/kl-night-time.jpg) this look, popularized by the Hedrich Blessing co. in Chicago (learn something new everyday), can only be made nicely with the aid of a tripod.

the first part of the word, tri, alludes to the three legs which support the camera.

I feel like there are three parts to my life right now - i have work at the museum, social life with the kemper folks and others, and then I have my photography work - I didn't really expect to have any photo work while here, but that sure has changed.

at pride, while cramed on the subway, my roommate nudges me and tells me that there's a gorgeous woman sitting behind me. I manage (somehow) to maneuver so I can see her, and indeed, she is gorgeous. Gathering up courage (and assuming she's on the way to pride herself) i tell her my name and ask whether it would be alright if we got off on the same stop and I took her photo. She agreed, and i took two quick shots and got her email to send them to her. I emailed her the photos, which came out better than expected due to crazy crowded streets and mobs due to pride, and she emailed me back asking whether i did portraits for pay.

do i ever.

we now have a shoot organized - a paying shoot. my second.

right after that, my roommate tells me that a friend of hers had looked at photos that i had taken of her, and needing headshots, asked for my contact information to schedule a shoot with me.

also, a more professional photo website should be appearing in the near future.

so yea. i think i'm doing pretty well right now in terms of that leg of my tripod-y life.

work at the museum, for the second leg, is going okay. Work is seriously slowing down which is a problem, because I'm often left with either nothing to do, or things that i can only due in small increments (such as sitting in the research center for hours looking up photos - which even for me can get tedious...i swear i know every single line in Abe Lincoln's face now. he's my second boyfriend). I think it'll pick up again though - tomorrow i'm helping at an event and one of my main jobs is to photograph the event. nooooo issues there.

for the third leg, fun with kemper kids, I think that's also going okay. I actually hang out more with non-kemper folks than i do with kemper folks, not because of anything bad, but they're more who i fell in with. I have close kemper friends, but we're all so tired at the end of the day i feel like we never see eachother except on weekends. it's weird, but okay. I'm happy, so it doesn't really bug me. and kemper folks always chill on the weekends. Also, i've been feeling a little stressed out about this france thing. but i guess that's to be expected. I'm leaving on Sept. 2nd, for all those who want to know. on Air India. they better serve me curry. :-p

so that's my life right now. how're you all doing?
...you know you don't need an account to comment, right? :-p

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Pride in What You Do



since there are so many photographers in the world, it can occasionally be very hard to be proud of your work. there are so many people - people who started earlier, have more/better resources, more well known, getting jobs...it's hard to maintain your confidence.
I was feeling a little down about my skills, since my most recent shoot was macros of flowers

I was dying for something with a little more edge, a little more OOMPH so to speak.


well...Gay Pride Chicago was the weekend. I'm feeling a little more...proud i guess you could say.

some shots from this weekend that I'm even shocked I did.


Friday, June 27, 2008

Looking at Things in Different Ways


In my course reader for Documentary Photography this past semester, i came across a quote that i really identified with. It was about how an artist might be able to draw a hand perfectly from 12 different perspectives, but with a camera there are infinite ways to view something. You can take a shot of a hand, and have it be an anatomically correct hand, from any perspective you can think of.

Today we went to the botanic gardens - an entirely created 300+ acres of garden. and while i love pretty macro (extreme close ups...remember?) shots of flowers, they can get really boring to take. I mean, how many pretty flower pictures can a person have? (don't answer that :-p)

so i challenged myself...If i took macros of flowers, i would try and have to make them differently than i normally would. and i tried - it was hard, but i think i took some things differently. i played with my aperture (remember that?) to try and get even shorter depth of field than a normal macro shot.

Earlier today, on the train ride to the gardens, I feel into a discussion about judging past time's opinions with current standards. I have a very clear opinion on this, in that i believe that it is impossible to judge someone from the sixteenth century correctly by 21st. century standards. My opinion is that you can only judge someone from the perspective of what was appropriate in their times. however, my roommate (one of the folks i was conversing with) said something interesting, "while we can't judge their actions outside of their time, we can still say that it wasn't a good idea."

her argument makes sense to me.

in any case, i feel like living in a city for the first time is making me view things in ways that i never normally would have. I never thought i was so capable. or that i could cook for myself and actually really begin to enjoy it. I wonder how Aix will change things.

one of the scholars going to france offered to help me with my visa application. thank god.

ps: this is the first update in a while because of wonky internets. sorry!!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Paparazzi

The paparazzi - so infamous yet what would we do without them? these clever little stalker-creepers sneak in EVERYWHERE just to get a shot - not even "the" shot, but "a" shot. It doesn't have to be well lit, composed, exposed, or anything. anything and everything goes. for this reason, i don't think they're photographers - they're simply thieves.


welllll i was a thief today. I snuck peeks of Obama. that's right - Barack Obama.

at my work today there was a big conference of governors + Obama. After the conference (which i watched online at my desk through a live feed off of Obama's website - ah, technology) Obama climbed a back staircase to the third floor, center conference room for lunch, among other things. Lots of secret service around, but they were sweet.

The center conference room on the 3rd floor is about 20 or so ft. from my desk. Between me and the room are a few walls, a pair of wooden doors, and a pair of glass doors. The glass doors, which grant access to the inner sanctum of administration-hood, were locked, signs on them declared "DO NOT ENTER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" it was through these doors, that i saw the back of Obama's head, his profile, and then eventually him getting up and leaving, facing me.

while this does not seem impressive, i was excited and fan-girly (think: giggles mc. giggly) throughout the morning. I was like paparazzi...sure, it was the back of his head, but IT WAS OBAMA'S HEAD. word. I was a little embarrassed to gawk at first, but then my boss told me not to be embarrassed and gawk away. so i did.

so...yea. that was exciting.

in other news, i met the photo head for the museum. and i got invited to come and chill and discuss digital vs. film whenever i want. my job keeps getting better and better.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Commissions



Ah...the art of doing what pleases someone else, sometimes more than it pleases yourself. this can be hard to do...

you still have to keep some of yourself in your work because that's what attracted the client in the first place, but you also have to inject something of your client in it so they too will connect deeply and strongly with the image you create.

note (in general): this applies to art in general, not just photography.

At work, sometimes I get really really bored. I'll be doing the same thing for hours and hours, important work, but very tedious and time consuming. like verifying names, sites, addresses, and phone numbers for a HUGE list of other history museums in the area. I know it's important, but at the same time I want to be doing more than sitting at my computer. The internship is working well for the museum (i hope/assume), but a little boring for me. So I decided to try and get to do other things to make the internship work for me too. Today I found out that someone at the Joffrey Ballet wants the museum to do an exhibit on them, and tomorrow head people are gonna hunt through their storage for potential finds (I gather - not 100% on this though).

so I thought that this sounded like a really cool opportunity. Thinking this I emailed my boss asking whether he was going, and if he was if i could go with him. he emailed me back saying he wasn't going, but that i was free to go. I think, starting tomorrow, my internship is going to be working more for me, too.

notes on dane's commission: today's photograph is my favorite from the shoot i did for my sister's book of poems that she'll be passing out at slams (or so i believe from what she's told me they're used for...)

Also today I had lunch with E.B. Smith - one of the heads of the foundation. It was a really nice lunch (fruit/chicken/pasta/spinich salad with honey-ish dressing...YUM) and we talked about everything from how to get rid of deer in the garden to what i'm thinking about for my internship next summer (Harley Davidson? Add Agency?) it was a really good lunch.

after work and the usual tuesday kemper meeting, my roommate and I did a lil' clothes shopping - the first i've done here. I got two really cute shirts on sale (50% off!!!) and also my first girl wallet, retiring the one i bought when i was like...10. word.